Bonnie Beranek-Fortwengler, LICSW, holds a stuffed animal made by a patient in front of the patient’s window art.

For some kids, a full day at daycare can be exhilarating but exhausting. For Sally(not her real name), it was torture.

Starting early in her life, Sally would struggle with transitions between activities and with loud noises, causing her to yell and throw things like chairs. Even when an incident was over, she would be on edge and withdrawn the rest of the day. She was asked to leave two different daycares.

Things got better for a time when she was diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder and her parents were able to get some resources for her. Kindergarten and first grade went okay. She had great communication with her teachers. But after school, she had to release all the pent-up feelings she’d kept hidden all day. She was asked to leave another daycare.

Second grade was a tipping point where she was no longer able to keep it in all day long, much less after school. This was when Sally’s parents enlisted the help of mental health therapist Bonnie Beranek-Fortwengler, LICSW, at New Ulm Medical Center (NUMC).

“The changes were indescribable and immeasurable,” Sally’s mom said. Bonnie diagnosed Sally’s anxiety and depression in addition to the sensory issues. Eventually, Sally was also diagnosed with autism by a psychologist who specializes in the testing and diagnosing of autism.

“She has never loved going to see Bonnie because it makes her feel like she’s different from the other kids but after she’s been to see her, she talks about how much she enjoyed the session and the change in her mood is evident,” said Sally’s mom.

Working with patients – kids and adults – who are not happy to be in therapy is a common occurrence, Bonnie said.

“We try to meet them where they’re at. For most kids it’s difficult to be in a space where they’re uncomfortable so we try to make it fun. Sometimes if a client isn’t having a good day we try to be in the moment,” Bonnie said. “For Sally, it was more acknowledging that it was hard for her to be there and why it was hard. And if we didn’t go the full session, that was okay.”

Part of the objectives in those sessions was confidence building. Bonnie tells a story about doing some window art with Sally and that she happened to be providing therapy to two other girls who struggled with low confidence and understanding themselves.

“They started to write inspirational messages between the three of them to each other in an anonymous way. It was really helpful to understand that there are other people who struggle with the same issues and we can really work on building each other up,” Bonnie said. “It really bugged her that she didn’t know those two people and I couldn’t say anything, but they lifted each other up.”

But all the games and crafts that Bonnie has done with Sally have served a specific purpose. To guide Sally to a place where she trusts Bonnie enough to share her thoughts.

“I believe that my clients are the teachers. They teach me enough that I can interpret what’s going on and help others understand what’s going on,” Bonnie said. “Sometimes one of the most amazing things that happens in therapy is that we normalize things that are happening. We give feelings a name – validate the feelings. Sometimes feelings don’t feel very good and when we don’t manage them it comes out sideways. A child might not understand why they are feeling the way they are and it can come out as anger, lashing out, sometimes hitting.”

Being able to help Sally’s parents understand what was going on – to name those feelings and behaviors – has made all the difference.

“For us, knowing what she needs and being able to help her has made a big difference,” Sally’s dad said.

Sally has seen Bonnie continuously for about three years now and her parents agree the changes are significant.

“She will openly share her emotions with us. She knows when she’s overwhelmed. She knows when she needs a break,” Sally’s mom said. “We have learned so much through all this. We know when we can push her and when we can’t.”

Because of the way that Bonnie has normalized what Sally is going through, Sally has allowed her parents to educate her classmates so that they understand when she is struggling and how to help her.

“I cannot even fathom the way our life would be different if we had not sought out services,” Sally’s mom said. “We cannot express enough gratitude for the care we have received from NUMC outpatient mental health.”

Stories like Sally’s highlight how important mental health services are for so many individuals and families.

“One of the misnomers of therapy is that there’s something wrong with you if you go to therapy,” Bonnie said. “I can’t tell you how many patients – children and adults – I’ve seen where I put a name to what they’re feeling and they thought there was something wrong with them and they are so relieved to find that whatever they are feeling is really a ‘thing’ that other people feel, also. That there’s something we can do to help them manage it and make their life better.”

With the stress of the COVID-19 pandemic bearing down on every community across the globe, mental health support is now more important than ever, says NUMC Foundation Director Missy Dreckman.

“We’ve been seeing the increased need to support out-patients suffering from mental health conditions, who are particularly at risk during the coronavirus pandemic and the social distancing restrictions,” Missy said. “Additionally, loneliness and isolation are high risk factors for developing mental health struggles.”

One of the NUMC Foundation’s focuses for 2020 is to raise funds for mental health services.

“Funds raised will support critical needs including increasing mental health awareness in our community, programming, safe and reliable transportation and other needs unique to our patients,” Missy said.

To donate, call the NUMC Foundation at 507-217-5188 or go to allinahealth.org/NUMCFoundationGiveNow.

To make an appointment with any of the mental health providers at NUMC, call 507-217-5168.