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Installing windows

Installing Windows can usually be accomplished with a few effortless mouse clicks. Installing actual windows can be a bit more challenging.

Thirty years ago, my wife and I built an addition onto our farmhouse. Our two sons, who were grade schoolers at the time, were sharing one tiny bedroom. They were getting on each other’s nerves, which meant that they were also getting on their parents’ nerves. Something had to give.

It didn’t seem likely that either of the boys would be able to afford their own apartment, so we opted to add a living room and convert the existing living room into a bedroom. Each boy would get his own bedroom, which would end the quibbling over such things as who left those dirty socks on the floor or whose feet reeked so badly that his roommate claimed that he needed a military-grade gasmask.

We hired a local carpenter named Todd Krueger to build the addition. Our sons and I helped as much as we could. I wanted to save on construction costs, and the boys couldn’t wait to have their own bedrooms.

The central feature of the new living room is an east-facing bay window. I have viewed hundreds of sunrises through that window and have watched innumerable blizzards and thunderstorms roll in. I have looked out that window so many times that I’ve probably worn out its glass.

Over the past few years my wife and I have noticed that the bay window was becoming increasingly drafty. More alarming was the squishiness in parts of its wooden structure. It was clear that it was time to replace the bay.

This job was far beyond my paltry carpentry abilities. We scoured our local shopper for someone to tackle this task and stumbled across a familiar name: Todd Krueger.

We phoned Todd and he came out to our place to take some measurements. Todd looked much the same, except a bit older and grayer. Time happens to everyone.

After carefully sizing things up, Todd ordered a new window. It took several months for the new unit to arrive. Maybe the manufacturer had to search for the perfect sand from which to make its glass.

The new window was finally delivered to our house. Todd came out a few days later to perform the installation, bringing with him two very nice young guys named Leonard and Noah.

One might think that replacing a bay window would be as simple and as easy as “pop out the old one and slap in the new one.” One would be mistaken.

For starters, the old window didn’t want to give up its perch. Somebody — I’m not pointing fingers, so let’s just say that it was a guy named “Todd” – had attached the snot out of the window when it was originally installed. The old window had more attachment points than a box of Legos.

Todd carefully and methodically began the deconstruction process, demonstrating way more patience than I could ever muster. This is why I have to hire someone to do jobs like this. After a few frustrating minutes of cautious prying and probing, I would have reached for something more expeditious such as a bulldozer or high explosives.

Bella, our farm dog, thinks that everyone is her best friend. She hung around the jobsite, closely observing the goings-on like a pesky project supervisor, zipping in to give the guys kisses whenever they kneeled to work on something.

The guys took these displays of affection in the spirit in which they were intended. They would pet Bella and she would respond by bringing them one of her toys. She seemed to think that a slobbery, chewed-up Frisbee might help the cause.

Our cat, Sparkles, is suspicious of anything new. During a lull in activities, she slinked through the jobsite and sniffed around warily. Satisfied, she sauntered off to a quiet spot beneath the deck to take a nap.

Once the old window was removed, much planning and consideration went into determining how, exactly, the new one should be installed. One might think that would be simple, but one would be mistaken.

You have to meticulously calculate how to fit the new window into the old opening while making sure that everything is centered and level and plumb. Had I been in charge, I would have called in an airstrike after a few frustrating minutes.

Todd and Leonard and Noah gently slipped the new window into place and attached it securely to the house. I watched like a pesky project supervisor.

The new window looks great! I just hope that the guys don’t mind getting paid with Bella kisses.

— Jerry’s book, Dear County Agent Guy, is available at http://Workman.com and in bookstores nationwide

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