Dear Annie: I would like to add to your advice to the mom whose 22-year-old daughter wants to move into her own apartment. Based on past experience, “Distressed About Departing Dependent” is worried that her daughter will soon be asking her for money to pay rent, which she is unable to provide. Your advice was to support her in other ways, but “if she asks for cash, tell her no, and stick to it.” The baby bird needs to learn to fly on her own. Good advice, but wrong timing.

As a parent, landlord and former family financial counselor, I would say the time to have the “no cash” talk is well before the daughter gets all excited and signs a year-long lease. Combine that with helping the daughter develop a realistic spending plan (budget) so she will know what impact paying rent will have on her lifestyle — before signing a lease. There are excellent resources available in bookstores and online.

Then, if the daughter comes asking for rent money, Mom can say no with a clear conscience, and hopefully with no hard feelings all around, as this was all laid out in advance.

One of the best things my mother did for me was to say no when I asked for a loan as a young businessman in my 20s. It forced me to rethink my financial habits and set me up for success in my later years. — Timing Is Everything

Dear Timing: You make a good suggestion. Thank you for writing.

Dear Annie: I just read a response to a letter about an 88-year-old driving a car. Here’s mine.

I became increasingly concerned about my husband driving. He has a diagnosis of mild cognitive impairment. We discussed this with his doctor, who ordered a driving evaluation by an occupational therapist. The OT specializes in doing evaluations for various medical situations to see if a driver is safe, unsafe or can be made safe with adaptations.

My husband’s evaluation left him without driving privileges. It was an emotional blow for both of us, yet he is coping with his typical dignity. We were grateful for the objective evaluation. It wasn’t me telling my husband that he can’t drive.

This might be a helpful option for other families.

A relieved and loving wife. — Safe and Sound

Dear Safe and Sound: Having an independent expert deliver the bad news to a spouse has so many advantages over having the news delivered by a nagging spouse, even if the nagging is done out of love. Thank you for sharing your story.