From Gail Gilman-

Waldner

Family Life Consultant, M.Ed., C.F.C.S. and Professor Emeritus, University of Minnesota

According to a study published in the New England Journal of Medicine and sponsored by the National Institutes of Health, an elderly person’s hospitalization can affect the healthy spouse’s risk of death. The study reviewed areas such as reasons why the spouse was hospitalized, length of the hospitalization, and whether or not the person hospitalized was male or female. The study was carried out over nine years and surveyed more than half a million couples age 65 and older.

The results indicate that the value of social networks in someone’s life is integrally connected to their health. People’s health is interconnected.

The study reveals that if a woman is hospitalized with an illness like colon cancer, her husband may have a slight risk of dying in the next year. If that same woman is hospitalized for heart disease, dementia (or other psychiatric illnesses), or even a hip fracture, her husband’s risk of dying within the next year increases. There are similar findings among women whose husbands were hospitalized. Surprisingly, cancer in either men or women did not increase risks of death.

Many studies have pointed to a spouse essentially dying of a broken heart after the death of their spouse. This study, however, extends that phenomenon to a sudden hospitalization for illnesses like pulmonary disease, congestive heart failure, hip or other serious fractures, as well as other disabling conditions.

The real danger to the healthy spouse seems to lie in the first 30 days of the hospitalizations. As hospitalization stays increased beyond the 30 days, the risk of death decreases for a period of time (three to six months) before that risk goes back up again. Researchers theorize that initial stress and shock may be contributing factors to the increase in death rates. In the early days, regular routines such as meal times, exercise, and other coping strategies may have failed, leaving the healthy spouse vulnerable.

What are Social Networks?

Social networks refer to the amount of “connectedness” that an individual feels in their immediate life. These networks include friends, families, church or civic groups, and other people activities that someone engages throughout the normal course of their life. By their very definition, networks keep someone grounded in their daily life, focused on the next piece that life has to offer.

Social networks can positively or negatively impact lives in many different ways. The realization that people’s lives are connected on many different levels and in many different ways can help medical professionals focus attention on the healthy spouse, rather than devoting all their energies toward the hospitalized spouse. Caregivers should take note of this study and continue to develop coping strategies in order to prevent their health from being adversely affected.

Caregivers: Take Time for Yourself

More than anything, this study underscores the need for caregivers to take time for themselves in the midst of a difficult situation. Getting plenty of rest, eating properly, exercising (even modest amounts) can make a significant impact on their overall ability to cope with a partner’s disabling disease.

These ideas, and many others, can help caregivers cope with the difficult days ahead that often accompany a sudden disability. Other ideas that may help are finding a community support network.

Technology: A Double-Edged Sword

In times of disabling illnesses, technology can be one excellent resource to keep someone connected. The increasing use of technology in our daily lives means that we have more ways to both stay connected and stay isolated, all at the same time. By using technology to stay focused on the social network, rather than relying on it for your sole means of communication, can be an excellent way to stay connected.

Cell phones, for example, can help keep family informed and give the caregiver an outlet for expression. Cell phones are portable and can be used outside the hospital to give updates on your spouse’s condition.

E-mail is also a tremendous resource for staying connected. Don’t be tempted just to jot down a few notes, press “send,” and make that the only means of reaching out each day. While e-mail is a good way to stay connected, make sure to take time to talk to others on a regular basis about what is going on in your life. A support group, a phone call, or meeting a friend for a quick lunch will also help tremendously.

Online bulletin boards often provide affirmation that someone else understands the situation. These are great resources for information, learning tips on how to take care of yourself, and even making useful friendships that foster self-confidence. Don’t let this be the only form of communication with others, though. Make sure not to substitute electronic contact for human contact.

Finally, remember that while a spouse’s hospitalization may pose dramatic life changes, there are still many opportunities for the healthy spouse. By staying focused on your own needs and keeping a good base of community support, you may be saving your own life as well.

Other ideas to help caregivers relax include:

Having someone prepare meals in advance so that all is needed is reheating.

Taking a short walk.

Eating properly.

Getting enough rest.

Having someone available to sit with your spouse while taking a short break from the hospital.

Finding a caregiver support group.

Staying connected to existing support networks: friends, family, or church.

Information adapted from article by Sandra Ray, Staff Writer in Fearless Caregiver Newsletter Tuesday January 24, 2012 – Issue #70.