To the Editor:

I taught English for more than half of my life. I didn’t like math, but word problems seemed to make some sense. I’ve come up with a timely word problem that will probably cause a great deal of angst for the former President’s linguistically challenged supporters, who are prone to resorting to vulgar, imperative expletives when they are frustrated and at a loss for words.

First, the word problem for your thoughtful consideration…Guilty x 34 = “45.” I think the answer should be obvious for anyone who doesn’t rely on Fox News for…well…news! (I hope you haven’t heard this one. I thought I was being profoundly original.)

Next, it confuses me when the MAGA folks resort to vulgar, imperative expletives concerning my feelings. My feelings have not been injured since the former President had to vacate the White House. Methinks the people on the right are the ones with a sour disposition since the last Presidential election. It seems the GOP, especially the former President, is having an annoyingly long grieving process. It can’t possibly hurt that much. Get over it. Rub some dirt on it. Whatever it takes to assuage your feelings, I hope you handle your results better this November. I feel fine and expect to continue at my current level of satisfaction.

Finally, as self-congratulatory as I feel about my word problem, the MAGA zealots think they really came up with a good zinger when one of their vulgar, imperative expletives directed at President Biden became the accidental and absurdly innocuous, “Let’s go, Brandon!” Who’s Brandon? Where are we going?

Not really all that clever. Maybe they need to enunciate better.

Keith R. Klawitter

Morgan