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A front-row seat to a midlife spiral

Dear Annie: My friend of 20 years confessed to having a crush on her executive coach, which then developed into a flirtation, which then became a sexting affair. I have always known she is unhappy in her marriage, but I cannot condone cheating and have told her so. She’s also started vaping, pierced her nose, talked about buying a new car (she just bought her last one two years ago) and even had an addition put on her house so she could have her own room away from her family. I’ve told her she’s exhibiting signs of a mid-life crisis. She told me she’s fine and that working ...

Deliberately hurting yourself

We all want to live, survive, and avoid pain. Survival, adaptation, and self-preservation is a normal drive. Psychologists, however, encounter people who do not have suicidal thoughts, do not want to die, but deliberately harm their body and do acts of self-injury. This perplexing behavior can be quite difficult to understand. The actual self-injury can take many forms. Some people cut themselves, burn themselves, pick out pieces of flesh, carve themselves, pull out hair, or find other ways to inflict pain. Destroying their own body without any desire to die is counter to maintaining ...

Empowering voters

Who Is the League of Women Voters?  The League of Women Voters of the United States (LWVUS) is a nonpartisan, grassroots nonprofit dedicated to empowering everyone to fully participate in our democracy. The League of Women Voters New Ulm Chapter is involved in a variety of voter registration and public education activities. Since its inception, the LWV-NU has sponsored public question and answer forums with  candidates for local school board, county board, city council  and legislative elections. League membership is open to both men and women. The League of Women Voters of ...

Getting phased out of my friend group

Dear Annie: I am 52 and I have a good life on paper. I am married, I work full-time, and I have two teenagers who keep me busy. But lately I have felt oddly lonely, and I am not sure if I am being overly sensitive or finally noticing something I have ignored for years. I have a close group of friends from our kids’ elementary school days. We still do birthdays, group texts and the occasional dinner. Here is the issue: They have started doing a lot more without me, and I usually find out after the fact. It is never one big, obvious exclusion. It is the little things. A photo pops up ...

Going for the gold

The Winter Olympics have arrived, that quadrennial phenomenon that should be called the “It’s Cold Enough Out There to Freeze the Whiskers Off a Polar Bear!” I have nothing against people who enjoy winter sporting events. But I’ve had my fill of cold, having grown up in a drafty old farmhouse where you could see your breath when you crawled out of bed on subzero winter mornings. We mortals watch, gobsmacked, as superhuman athletes perform superhuman feats of athleticism. Thanks to the TV commentators’ observations, we soon become critics. “His left skate slid two ...

Recent Reads

Here are few of my favorite recent reads. Library staff would be happy to help you place requests on these or any other titles. If you’d like to place your own request, visit www.newulmlibrary.org and choose Library Catalog. Margo and Ian have been losing real estate bidding wars for eighteen months now. Ian is ready to throw in the towel, but Margo clings to her dreams of the ideal suburban lifestyle. When she gets a tip about the perfect house in the perfect neighborhood, Margo is desperate to get an edge on the competition. In Best Offer Wins, Marisa Kashino expertly illustrates ...