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Working on the waterworks

The word “plumbing” comes from “plumbum,” the Latin word for lead. That’s a load of hooey. “Plumbum” clearly denotes someone who has a bum crack that is precisely vertical. If you’re the type of person who enjoys perpetual torment, then repairing the plumbing in an old farmhouse is a gift that keeps on giving. After my brother Les and his son Dustin installed new sewer lines in our family’s ancestral farmhouse, I thought that everything was both hunky and dory. Wrong-o, moose face! The house’s plumbing seemed to work as intended. Nothing leaked, including ...

Just another ‘left-wing farmer’ with Trump derangement

Last October, we were into soybean harvest, when I got a call from Fritz Busch. Fritz is a friend and a reporter for The Journal. Every so often he calls to see what’s going on with farmers. Right then, the destruction of our soybean market by the Trump administration was newsy. Fritz came out, we talked, and he took picture of me unloading beans. Next day that was on the front page under a headline, “Farmers fear they have soybeans nobody wants.” I thought I looked rather jaunty in the picture leaning against a tire. Fritz talked to a few other farmers for the article who had ...

Voting machines testing and post election reviews

State and local election officials ensure that every vote is properly cast, counted and reported through rigorous review and oversight. Voting machines are tested and receive state certification by the Office of Secretary of State. Preliminary testing of all devices used at an election is required, and errorless tests must be performed before equipment can be used. In addition, a Public Accuracy Test is also conducted before every statewide election, wherein a certain number of ballots are prepared and run through the machine to be certain it is counting correctly. This is open to the ...

How do you feel about your better half?

When we meet, date, fall in love, and finally marry the person of our dreams, the relationship evolves over time. Feelings ebb and flow, and are modified over time by experience. Feelings are very personal emotional states that vary in intensity and have been known to overwhelm thinking, reality, and even common sense. The feelings that other people trigger in you have a lot to do with the way the relationship goes. If somebody makes you feel good, you feel good about that person. If somebody makes you feel bad, you feel bad about him or her. It is not that complicated. It is hoped ...

Moonshot memories

The success of the recent Artemis moon mission has caused many Americans to feel uplifted and inspired. Uplifted because we could all imagine leaving Earth and its countless botherations — especially the Kardashians — behind. Inspired that four brave souls managed to accrue nearly 700,000 frequent flyer miles despite the TSA situation. For us Boomers, the name Artemis evokes memories of the 1960s TV program “The Wild Wild West.” Artemus Gordon was Secret Service agent James West’s sidekick. But Artemus was more than just an ordinary aide-de-camp. He was also a gadgetry ...

The 1986 Masters: a motivating factor for high school golf

I watch at least part of the Masters golf tournament every April, but this year it has a special meaning. It’s been 40 years since Jack Nicklaus won the 1986 Masters at age 46 to earn his sixth Green Jacket. I watched his entire final round and cheered for him every step of the way. The Golden Bear and Arnold Palmer are the two professionals that led me to try golf in the late 1970s. Palmer’s last major was in 1964 and his last tournament win was in 1973. I hoped he’d win one more time and maybe more than one, but it didn’t happen. Nicklaus was still winning. I thought it ...