The word empathy is used a lot. Sometimes it is confused with sympathy, but they are different.

When you feel sympathy for somebody those are your feelings, experienced by you. Sympathy involves what you feel when you witness another person’s suffering or terrible misfortune. You may feel compassion, pity, sadness, or sorrow for him or her.

So what is empathy?

Empathy is your ability to understand someone else’s feelings. In a way, it is something like putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. It involves recognizing, understanding, responding to, sharing, or even somehow vicariously experiencing how that other person may feel.

Psychologists define empathy as understanding someone else’s perspective, and a profound connection with the other person’s feelings. The empathic person tries to understand what emotions the other person feels, and why they feel that way. You may even feel what they feel.

The ability to have the same feelings as the other person is called Affective Empathy.

A question is what does the empathic person want the object of their empathy to feel?

Generally, a reduction in suffering, and an increase in happiness, enjoyment, contentment, or satisfaction is hoped for. A successful solution to the problem situation would also be great.

The empathic person may also want to help the person who is experiencing misfortune and suffering. This is called compassion. A simple definition of compassion is the desire to do something to help the sufferer, and to change the difficult situation in which the sufferer must endure. Compassionate people tend to be active and motivated to help. It is not only something you feel.

Compassion is being supportive, providing some sort of assistance if possible, or doing anything that may be generous, considerate, or kind, no matter how small. The concern for the other person may generate goals or plans as to how to help him or her.

One area where empathy is absolutely necessary is parenting. Many of us depend on close relationships to maintain a sense of emotional well-being. Parents play a major role in their children’s emotional life. Parents try to control or influence events that may result in the child experiencing negative, unpleasant feelings. Two general approaches to dealing with the child’s negative feelings suggest different levels of parental empathy.

The parent may not want the child to express any negative feelings, and to keep their feelings to themselves. They may ignore, put down, criticize, or even punish the child for expressing unhappy or negative feelings.

A second parental approach is to talk with the child about the child’s negative feelings. They validate his or. her feelings and try to help the child to develop strategies to deal with the situation, and to hopefully reduce the negative feelings.

Differences in empathy result in each approach. Even as adults we tend to want to be around people who will give us the understanding and the support that we need and want.

Often without conscious awareness, our empathy and how that empathy is expressed, can impact, and even alter another person’s emotional life. The capacity for empathy can greatly improve the sense of well-being in our family, friends, co-workers, and other people who happen to be in ourlife.

Being able to connect with other people is a beautiful thing. How sad fot those people who lack empathy.

— Dr. Joseph Switras provides clinical psychological services at United Health District in Fairmont to people age 5 and up.