I find women to generally be nurturing, caring, and kind. Mothers go well beyond that. Mothers are selfless, anticipate other people’s wants and needs, nurture, are supportive, protective, show empathy, care for, and guide their children. They are the glue that binds the family.

Since mothers play such an important role in the lives of the family and have such a profound impact on each member of the family, they need to be cared for and protected. If something unfortunate or bad happens to her, then her ability to do and be all those wonderful things can be significantly compromised.

When that happens, it will probably impact how she plays her role, and therefore have some unfavorable consequences. Depression is a frequent negative experience that is not uncommon for mothers.

What might be the consequences for the children when mom goes through depression?

When a person is depressed, he or she may lose interest in doing important things and lose the ability to enjoy the things that they used to enjoy doing. The person may feel fatigued and have difficulty with sleep and appetite. They may not do the things that he or she is supposed to do, and impair the ability to maintain appropriate relationships with others. A depressed mother can impact each member of the family.

It can be expected that the children who have depressed mothers have a higher rate of depression compared to children whose mothers are not depressed. Approximately two to four out of 10 children with depressed mothers will probably also develop depression. The children may develop depression at an earlier age, it may last longer, it may have a more significant impact, and it can also tend to occur later in life. The range of possible consequences will depend on the age of the child.

Because depression will impact relationships in general, mothers may have difficulty relating to their children, which can be a source of stress for the children. Since children learn from their parents, the child may develop ways of thinking and acting that will resemble the depressed parent. As the depression gets worse, mothers may begin to disengage from the children and exhibit less than ideal positive behavior.

When a mother realizes what she is doing, and not doing, her view of herself as a parent will be more negative, thereby reducing her confidence in being a positive influence for the children. She may actually develop critical or negative attitudes towards the kids. The impact on the child will then be low self-esteem and a low sense of self-worth. The likelihood of the children developing their own depression will be heightened as the mother’s communication with the children becomes more dysfunctional.

When the mother finds it difficult to interact with and meet the child’s social and emotional needs, the child will have difficulty developing effective and appropriate social and cognitive skills. Mother may not provide the adequate structure, monitoring, or discipline that the child requires. This may be compounded when there is discord between the parents. The parental discord or conflict is an obvious significant stressor for the child.

Research suggests that when children are exposed to adult depression in addition to marital discord, there is a high probability that that combination will result in the child acting out and getting into some type of trouble. This is not an unusual occurrence when that child reaches adolescence.

When one looks at the research and clinical experience with depressed mothers, it is strongly suggested that these mothers would best be advised to get involved in some type of psychotherapy to identify, address, and resolve the triggers for those feelings. They should also consult with their physician, who also has the right tools to help.

The sooner that the depression can be minimized, managed, or resolved, the better for everyone.

— Dr. Joseph Switras provides clinical psychological services at United Health District in Fairmont to people age 5 and up.