Dear Heloise: Many years ago, I discovered that when I donated, I would receive requests from a number of other groups several weeks later — some that even advocated for the same kind of “causes.” Sometimes I could follow the progression because a mistake had been made in my name and continued to be made throughout these requests. There are some causes I support once a year in December, so I know I did not donate to them more than once.

For several years, I kept a list of causes and requests on lined paper. I changed the paper every 8-10 days each week before Christmastime. It also included political requests. Most I had never even donated to! (This did not include telephone requests, however.)

A neighbor was briefly hospitalized several times, and I took in her mail. I noticed that the “gimme” letters increased at an alarming rate. When her daughter was finally able to get in her house, she found that her mother had tried to keep up with these letters, but the kitchen table literally could not hold all the requests. Most weren’t scams. (It’s important to check on elderly neighbors who have no family or people who can check in frequently.)

Now, for several causes, we have the bank automatically send a monthly donation. (For example, St. Jude.) For other causes, I occasionally take an envelope and enclose a $20 bill without a way to identify us. If it goes astray, it’s only $20, and we don’t get on more lists.

Hope some of this is helpful! — Staying Off Lists, in Kingston, New York