Dear Annie: I am struggling with what feels like a small thing, but it weighs on me. I have several great-nieces and great-nephews, and over the years I’ve tried to remember birthdays with cards, little gifts or even just a phone call. Lately, though, I feel overwhelmed. Between the number of children, the cost of presents and my own busy life, I can’t keep up the way I used to.

This year, two of them have birthdays coming up, and I find myself dreading it rather than looking forward to celebrating them. Part of me wonders if I should stop sending gifts altogether and just acknowledge the day with a heartfelt card or call. But then I worry they will think I don’t care or that I am playing favorites if some get gifts and others don’t.

I don’t want to disappoint these kids, but I also don’t want to feel resentful or guilty every time another birthday rolls around. Am I a bad great-aunt if I don’t keep sending birthday gifts? How do I show them love in a way that doesn’t leave me stretched too thin? — Wondering Aunt

Dear Wondering Aunt: You are not a bad great-aunt for wanting to set limits. Gifts are nice, but what children remember most is the love and attention behind them. A thoughtful card, a phone call or even a tradition like baking cookies together can mean far more than something from a store.

Do what feels genuine and sustainable for you. If that means sending cards instead of presents, that is perfectly fine. Your consistency and care will speak louder than any gift ever could.

Dear Annie: I am writing to you about something that I suspect many people wrestle with but rarely admit out loud: feeling completely drained by trying to “do it all.”

On paper, my life looks fine. I have a steady job, a family I love and friends I try to keep up with. But in reality, I feel like I’m stretched so thin that I’m not fully present anywhere. At work, I’m behind on deadlines. At home, I’m guilty that I don’t spend enough quality time with my spouse or children. With friends, I cancel plans at the last minute because I just don’t have the energy.

Everywhere I turn, there are messages telling me to “set boundaries,” “practice self-care” or “say no more often.” I try to follow that advice, but then I feel like I’m letting someone down. If I say no to my boss, I risk my job. If I say no to my kids, I feel like a bad parent. And if I say no to social invitations, I worry people will stop asking altogether.

The end result is that I’m running on empty. I can’t tell if this is just modern life, or if I need to make some big changes. I find myself wondering: Is it normal to feel this exhausted all the time? Or is this a sign that I’ve taken on too much? How do other people balance responsibility with rest without feeling like they’re failing everyone around them?

I’d love your advice, because right now it feels like I’m surviving, not living. — Running on Empty

Dear Running on Empty: What you are describing is more common than you think. Many people feel the same invisible weight of trying to be everything to everyone. The truth is you cannot, and no one can.

Start by taking one small step. Choose one area where you can realistically say no or scale back, and protect that space as if it were an appointment with your health. Over time, those small boundaries build into real breathing room.

You are not failing anyone by resting. You are giving them a healthier version of you, and that is worth far more than a burned-out version who is running on empty.