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My memories of Taylor’s fireworks

It has been said that the only constant is change. This is true except if you’re hoping for change from a 20-dollar bill after filling your car’s gas tank. Tremendous changes have taken place on the farm where I launched my dairy farming career 46 years ago. When I first rented that bedraggled little farm, the city of Brookings was a mile and a half away. The city has since, in an amoeba-like fashion, gradually engulfed the entire farm. The day that I lost my lease on the farm, my elderly landlord’s son informed me that the entire half-section would soon be turned into ...

When the nest goes quiet

Dear Annie: Lately, I’ve been finding myself feeling unexpectedly down. My three kids are all growing up so fast -- one just graduated college, one is starting a new job out of state and my youngest just got their driver’s license. I’m proud of them, of course. They’re kind, capable and finding their own way in the world. But I feel like I blinked and suddenly I’m no longer needed in the same way. Our house, once noisy and full of chaos, now feels quiet. I miss the everyday routines, the messy backpacks, even the late-night rides home from practice. I know this is part of ...

Slowing down after the summer of speed

When I was young, there was a farmer who lived west of me. George’s wife had passed away, and he lived alone. Several times a day, George drove to town for coffee, meals, and fellowship at Schultz Café. The staff and other old guys were his family. George was never in a hurry to get to town. I knew that if I got behind his green Buick, it was going to be a while till I got to where I was going. I guess he was going about 30 mph. It’s possible that my younger, more impatient self thought he was slower than he really was. Regardless, there are two curves and a hill which made it ...

Summer solstice: an underrated special yearly occasion

Last weekend we had the summer solstice, the longest day of the year with the light of day lasting until late in the evening. The solstice is one of the most underrated days of the year. There’s very little special celebrating, no day off for wage earners. I think there’s a bias against solstices and equinoxes because they were a part of pagan religion. They were a time for reckless celebration, something that went too far for conservative religious beliefs. Nathaniel Hawthorne wrote about it in his short story “The Maypole of Merrymount” about a Puritan minister who led ...

A father’s love and his daughter’s demands

Dear Annie: My husband will be 60 on his next birthday, and despite having asthma, he’s in very good shape. Our daughter is 27 and doesn’t manage her finances or life very well. She recently asked my husband to help her move as he has done four times previously. He agreed, even though it was just the two of them moving everything. The new apartment is up three flights of stairs and they moved her in on a 98-degree day. It took several hours, and he did not get home until after 10 p.m. I feel this was thoughtless and completely selfish of our daughter. She is frequently ...

Breaking the cycle

Dear Annie: I’m a 44-year-old autistic man living in Montana. I am happily involved with a woman who has five kids, ages 12 to 24. My question is about breaking unhealthy patterns. Growing up, my family often held grudges against me for my past mistakes, even when I’ve admitted my faults and failures. Now I find myself doing the same with my stepkids, holding onto their mistakes longer than I should. Everyone says that because I am disabled with autism that I am a nobody. Yet I am finishing my doctorate degree in psychology. I am so confused. I’m trying to make sense of who I ...