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Dating, equality and breaking old patterns

Dear Annie: For most of my life, I picked the wrong partners. Over time, I realized it wasn’t bad luck. I was choosing what I had seen, not what I had actually done the work to earn. Those patterns came from my family and the system I grew up in, and I kept recreating them. A few years ago, I left that behind and made a full 180. I simplified my life, built routines and took responsibility for my choices instead of repeating familiar dynamics. The calmer and more grounded my life became, the clearer it was that my old way of dating no longer matched who I am now. To avoid repeating ...

Activated charcoal absorbs odors

Dear Heloise: When I moved into an apartment that had recently become nonsmoking, I quickly learned that the odor from previous tenants can linger for far longer than expected. Even after maintenance aired out the apartment with a fan, the tobacco smell was so strong that I woke up my first night coughing and uncomfortable. The next day, I visited a hardware store and asked for advice. I was told to try activated charcoal, which comes in a small plastic container about the size of an onion-dip tub. I removed the lids and placed one container in each room. The results were amazing! ...

A family wedding minus one

Dear Annie: Am I being too sensitive? My niece’s son is getting married this year. I always believed I was close to her family, but when the “save the date” and shower invitations went out, my daughter was not included -- although all the other cousins were. My daughter rarely attends family functions, so when one of my sisters asked why “Charlotte” wasn’t invited, the answer was, “We didn’t think she would come.” Charlotte is my only daughter, and I feel that the least they could have done was mention this to me beforehand. Instead, I stood at a family gathering and ...

Find healthy snacks for children

Dear Heloise: To Susan L., as a retired registered dietitian who specialized in pediatrics, I absolutely do not recommend popsicles as a snack. They are high in simple sugars and can be high in added sugar, with limited vitamins and minerals and no fiber. There are numerous other healthy snacks that are not high in sugar, such as hummus with vegetable sticks or cheese with whole-grain, low-sugar crackers. Although fresh fruit contains natural sugar, it is not sticky and has vitamins and fiber. -- Dena G., via email NO PROCESSED FOODS Dear Readers: We have another reader who ...

Living under the threat of divorce

Dear Annie: I am a 69-year-old man who is still totally and madly in love with my wife of 49 years. I know many people would say I’m foolish for feeling this way after she cheated on me several times during the early years of our marriage. At the time, I blamed myself. We were young, I felt responsible for providing for our growing family, and I threw myself into work. I came from a broken home, and my wife came from poverty. I was determined that neither of us would ever go through that again. Looking back, I think my long hours may have left her feeling lonely. After that, I made ...

Avoiding unnecessary purchases

Dear Heloise: I used to come home from the store, only to realize I’d bought spices that I already had tucked away in the cupboard. To solve this problem, I came up with an easy system that works every time. Whenever I buy a new container of a spice that I already own, I place a rubber band around the older container. This way, when I look in my spice cabinet, I can quickly see that I have a backup and don’t need to buy more. The rubber band acts as a simple visual reminder, saving me from buying duplicates and wasting money. This method doesn’t require labels, lists or special ...