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Friendship or boundary issue?

Dear Annie: My husband, “Mark,” and I have been married for six years. For the most part, things are good between us, but there’s one recurring issue I can’t get past. Mark’s ex-wife, “Tina,” is still very involved in his life -- not in a co-parenting way, since they don’t even have kids, but socially. She calls him every few weeks or so, invites him to group outings and has even dropped by his office “just to say hi.” Mark says they’ve remained friends and that there’s nothing inappropriate going on. I want to believe him, but it makes me uncomfortable. I’ve ...

Organize utensils in the dishwasher

Dear Heloise: My wife and I read your hints daily, and you have some great ones! Here is something that we do to speed up the process of unloading the dishwasher. When putting utensils into the utensil holder to get washed, we group them together like forks in the front, spoons in the middle, and knives in the back. It sure makes it easy to unload when they are clean. -- Mason Fairhope, in Alabama SLEEPING WITH FURRY FRIENDS Dear Heloise: Dealing with pet fur is ongoing at my house. My Schipperke loves sleeping on my bed, and the feeling is mutual. I keep an old sheet on my ...

The hidden cause behind a loved one’s withdrawal

Dear Annie: Your column is a regular part of our home, and I truly appreciate the compassion and insight you bring to readers’ questions. I would like to gently offer another perspective, one that may sometimes be overlooked when people write in about the emotional withdrawal of a spouse, parent or longtime friend. In some cases, what appears to be a change in personality, affection or connection may actually be an early sign of dementia. Especially in longstanding relationships, whether marriage, family or close friendships, people may begin to act in ways that seem confusing, ...

Take precautions before traveling

Dear Heloise: I don’t want to sound morbid, but you never know what will happen on a trip. Whenever my husband and I go on a trip, I take a picture of our tickets, passports, and any other important documents on my phone, then send them to my son before we leave. I let him have a copy of our plans in foreign countries and our hotel information, and I stay in contact by sending postcards to friends and family. Why all the precaution? A dear friend of ours was in an accident years ago and could not communicate important information to anyone. He was in a coma for two weeks and missed ...

Bridging the gap with daughters-in-law

Dear Annie: My husband and I are the proud grandparents of two beautiful granddaughters. “Lila” is 20 months old and the daughter of our son “Michael” and his wife, “Emily.” “Sophie” is 10 months old and the daughter of our other son “Daniel” and his wife, “Grace.” We love both girls dearly and feel so fortunate to have them in our lives. But I am having a difficult time with how our daughters-in-law are managing visits and time with us as grandparents. It feels as though we are constantly walking on eggshells, trying to be respectful and supportive, yet we ...

What not to do with old/new pipes

Dear Heloise: There is no time to put grease or oils down a sink with old or new pipes! You pour off what you can as noted in a previous column, then wipe the pan with gently used paper napkins or towels that have been set aside. Throw the napkins away afterward. The little residue left on the pan is handled by detergent and hot water. You won’t have any more pipe worries this way. Two asides: Do not throw floss in the toilet. If your pipes are old, the floss gets caught, builds up, and eventually causes a blockage. In the trash it goes! The second is to please ask your plumbing ...