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Enjoying flowers in the present

Dear Heloise: First, I’d like to say that I enjoy reading your hints each day. Here is a novel idea my late mother once said to me: “Why don’t you give me flowers now when I can enjoy them, not when I am dead and cannot?” I find it rather sound advice. What say you? Thank you. -- Daniel D., via email Daniel, I agree, and I think many of my readers do as well. Thank you for writing in. -- Heloise COLD WATER FOR BLOOD Dear Heloise: I, like many other senior citizens, take aspirin and blood thinners and suffer from occasional pop-up skin bleeds that get on my pants, shirts ...

Weighed down while husband is worry-free

Dear Annie: I’m writing because I can’t tell if I’m being too sensitive or if I’m finally seeing something I’ve been ignoring for years. I’m 46, married, and we have three kids (two teens and one in college). On paper, our life is good. We’re busy, we’re stable, we show up for school events and family birthdays. But lately I feel like I’m disappearing inside my own home. My husband isn’t cruel. He works hard and he’d say he loves me. But the day-to-day is starting to feel like I’m the household manager, the default parent, the calendar keeper, the meal ...

Keep flag hems fray-free

Dear Heloise: People spend their hard-earned money on outdoor flags only to have the hems fray in a short time from weather. If you turn the hem over and restitch on a sewing machine, the edges will not become ragged from the elements. I especially like to see the American flag flying fray-free in the wind. -- Brenda Richardson, in Shelbyville, Kentucky REVISITING THE CHECK ENGINE LIGHT Dear Heloise: Regarding Jim and his check engine light fix, after 40+ years in the automotive industry, I have seen my share. Be advised that the check engine light monitors numerous items. Some ...

Forced to make an impossible choice

Dear Annie: I never thought I would write to an advice column about this, but I am genuinely torn. I am a 34-year-old woman with two dogs, Bella and Murphy. They are both rescues and have been with me through a breakup, a move and the death of my dad. I joke that they are my “first kids,” but there is a lot of truth in that. My evenings are built around walks, snuggling on the couch and muddy paw prints by the door. Six months ago, I started dating a wonderful man I will call “Evan.” He is kind, funny, responsible and treats me with real care. I can see a future with him. The ...

Please be considerate with noise

Dear Heloise: I have one neighbor around the corner who just put up a flagpole in their front yard. I have another neighbor who has hung windchimes from a tree in their front yard. I can easily hear the clang clang from the flagpole and the ding ding from the chimes in my house, even though my windows are closed. I work from home, and this is very distracting. To make matters worse, I live in Buffalo, New York. In the winter, it is windy almost every day, which makes the noises louder. If I can hear the noises, even though I am not close to either house, I can only imagine how other ...

Finding connection in later life

Dear Annie: Now that my husband and I are in our 70s, it feels as if our social world has shrunk to the size of a postage stamp. Friends have moved away to be near their children, others are dealing with health issues, and a few have simply drifted off. We used to host dinners, take short trips and enjoy a lively circle. Now the phone barely rings. Our children are kind but busy, and I don’t want to rely on them for every bit of companionship. Still, the quiet gets to me. I just want something to look forward to besides doctor’s appointments and the nightly news. I’ve tried ...