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Heartbroken after years of caregiving

Dear Annie: I lost my husband 10 years ago. He was a great man, and we had a good marriage for over 30 years. It took me a while (seven years) to date, and when I did, I met a guy who was seven years older than me and twice divorced, but I was very attracted to him, and he was to me. We spent six months together, and then I left for the winter, but we flew back and forth and reunited again and it was like no time had passed. Then he found out he had multiple myeloma. His sister called to tell me because I was on a trip and he was in the hospital. He went through stem cell treatment and ...

Receiving mail from nonprofits

Dear Heloise: You recently had a comment from someone who was annoyed about nonprofits mailing appeals for donations. They were critical of this method of fundraising, since these nonprofits share names from their mailing lists, as well as the costs associated with these types of efforts. I worked for a nonprofit children’s charity for many years and wanted to share what I learned. Direct mail appeals are a cost-effective way of fundraising, often costing 10 cents or less to raise $1. Charities use bulk mail rates so that the cost to send appeals is minimal. Some charities may ...

Dear Reader: Many of you wrote in regarding the newly widowed woman who stopped receiving invitations to couples’ gatherings. A great number of you shared similar experiences. Below are a few letters that reflect this. Dear Widowing: The invisibility you feel often grows in proportion to how insecure other women are. If they perceive you as attractive or as a threat to their marriages, you’ll quickly find yourself being treated as if you don’t exist. This happens to newly divorced women as well. After my husband left me for someone else, our mutual friends stopped inviting me ...

Please do not disturb

Dear Heloise: I wanted to write in with a response to the reader in Ohio who travels frequently. The reader mentioned struggling with people who talk to them and don’t get the hint when they see you have a book to read. Flight attendants have earbuds available for in-flight entertainment, or you can bring your own, even if you’re not listening to anything. Put on the earbuds and send a visual clue to the person next to you that you would rather read or nap and don’t wish to be disturbed. You can always remove the earbuds if you want to talk. -- Debbie M.M., in Torrance, ...

Corn harvest memories

I recently took an exciting ride in a spendy vehicle, the kind that comes with a price tag well into the six figures. A Bently? A Rolls? A Dragon spaceship? Nope. It was my neighbor’s combine. Modern combines are a marvel of high technology. Their cabs feature multiple touch screens, automated steering systems, and doodads that monitor grain yields and moisture. I wouldn’t be surprised if it could also whip up a cappuccino. The cabs are heated and air conditioned, with a comfy seat that cushions the operator like a baby in a cradle. It has all the comforts of home except for ...

Supporting our first responders

Last month, Hurricanes Milton and Helene devastated parts of the southern United States. As families evacuated and started to rebuild, firefighters, police officers, and emergency personnel were a constant presence including the Minnesota National Guard who went down to help. This is what our first responders do everyday across our country and throughout our state: whether responding to wildfires, floods, tornados, shootings, or gas leaks, our first responders put their lives on the line to keep us safe. Tragically in Minnesota this year we have lost a number of officers and ...