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When being the ‘go-to’ friend becomes too much

36-year-old woman who’s always been the “go-to” friend for emotional support. I don’t mind being there for people -- I genuinely care -- but lately it’s starting to wear me down. My closest friend, “Julia,” has been going through a tough time with her marriage for the past year. I’ve spent countless hours on the phone with her, listening, offering advice and even rearranging my schedule when she’s had a breakdown. At first, I felt honored she trusted me so much. But she never even takes my advice! What is she going to me for guidance for if she’s not even going to ...

When your child shuts you out

Dear Annie: I’m a 48-year-old gainfully employed man living in Denver with my wife of many years. Our marriage, while respectful and supportive, has evolved into more of a platonic partnership over time. We are navigating a difficult season as parents. My daughter, who just turned 18 and attends college, is spending her summer in Seattle. Despite my deep desire to see her and reconnect, she has made it very clear that I’m not welcome there. She has threatened to move out or cut off communication entirely with both her mother and me if I try to visit. She refuses to speak to me, and ...

Confidence without oversharing

Dear Annie: Thank you for your strong and thoughtful letter about keeping relationship details private. I have noticed there seems to be a kind of unspoken “girl code” that makes some women feel it’s perfectly acceptable to ask personal questions about someone’s sex life -- as if those boundaries don’t apply among friends. I have always found those conversations uncomfortable, and I often felt unsure how to gracefully shut them down without sounding rude or overly guarded. That’s why I really appreciated your advice. I loved your simple and elegant response: “I never ...

Why do we do stupid things

Have you ever done something stupid? I have. And each time that happens, I vow to quit doing stupid things. So far, that hasn’t worked. The MX170 is our planter tractor in the spring. This time of year, it’s got the loader on. The loader tractor gets used for all sorts of tasks around the farm. I was using it down by the bins last week. I was in and out of the cab and left the door open when I went to do other things. A couple of hours later, I was mowing. With the steady rains we’ve gotten this summer, mowing never ends. Anyway, I mowed my way down toward the bins. I was ...

Bad News Bears next at bat in NUFS series

NEW ULM – It’s a whole new ball game with the New Ulm Film Society’s screening of “Bad News Bears.” The screening starts at 6:30 p.m. on Tuesday, August 12, at the New Ulm Public Library. “Bad News Bears” is a 1976 sports comedy that centers on a youth baseball team called the Bears, who are considered one of the worst teams in their league. The team consists of all the players who were not allowed to play on the better, more talented teams. In fact, the Bears only formed out of a settlement for a lawsuit. The team’s coach, Morris Buttermaker, played by Walter Matthau, ...

The role that the words yes and no play in sexual relationships is rarely given much thought, unless it is part of a police case or court proceeding. The main word here is consent. Situations involving non-consensual sex or sexual harassment should be a concern for everyone. Consent is actually a major part of any and all sexual interactions, no matter what the nature, status, or type of relationship that exists between two people. Over time, sexual activity has become a recreational activity. In the past, it was more of a path to reproduction, but modern methods of birth control ...