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Healing from the heartache of abusive adoptive parents

Dear Annie: I come from a long history of family dysfunction. Child abuse, toxicity and abandonment are all I ever knew growing up. I developed severe complex PTSD and borderline personality disorder coming into my preteen years. I remember the blame was solely on me for my severe depression, suicide attempts and deep-seated suffering from my adoptive parents. I moved out at age 17. The abuse continued despite my removal from their household, well into my late 20s. At that time, I cut off all contact with my abusers. I removed myself entirely from the family dynamic. (I have been in ...

How to be a good guest

Dear Heloise: We have an extended family and a large home. I love having family stop by and come for a visit, but I’ve noticed that they seem to think all the work is on me. I know most of them read your column faithfully, so I was hoping you might drop a hint or two on how to behave while visiting someone else’s home. -- Samantha C., Charleston, South Carolina Samantha, I love having company, too, but like you, I want them to remember that I’m their host, not their slave. So, here are my hints for being a good guest: 1. Ask your host what is the best time for your ...

Luck of the Irish on St. Patrick’s Day

Saint Patrick’s Day is a holiday that involves wearing green and drinking green beer. If taken to an extreme, the green beer part can cause you to actually turn green. Not that I have any experience with that, mind you. I can’t wear a “Kiss me, I’m Irish!” button on St. Patrick’s Day or any other day. According to 23AndMe I am 100% Norwegian, which confirms that I’m the whitest guy on the planet. My wife is a genetic mishmash. While the bulk of her DNA is from Germany, France, and Holland, she also has a smattering of genes from Eastern Europe and the United Kingdom. ...

Making peace with family estrangement

Dear Annie: Sixteen years ago, I separated from my wife, as we were headed toward a divorce. Her father, “Bob,” just lost it; he was so angry over the divorce. He swore to me that he would do everything he could and spend his last dime to take my sons away from me. He did his best to ruin my career, to no avail. However, through paying for cruises (seven to date), much money spent and careful manipulation, he has been able to take my sons away from me. My oldest son texted me five years ago to say his life was better off without me, and he has not spoken to me since. My younger son ...

Dear Heloise: I just wanted to give a friendly reminder to consider donating clean, gently used towels to your local veterinary clinics. I have also spotted a great towel sale and bought a bunch for a nearby clinic. Their need is incredible. Believe me, they will be so grateful. As a side note, some clinics may accept unused pet meds (still within their expiration date) as long as it is in the prescribing bottle. This goes for special shampoos as well. Please call first, though, as guidelines may vary. In some cities, there’s a specific group that accepts pet meds, and your local vet ...

NEW ULM – The New Ulm Film Society is continuing its legal drama series with a screening of “The Crucible.” The screening begins at 6:30 p.m. Tuesday, March 12.  “The Crucible” is not typically cited as a legal drama, though it centers on one of the most infamous trials in history; the Salem Witch Trials.  In 1692, the town of Salem, Massachusetts was plagued with accusations of witchcraft. Several townsfolk in the puritan community were accused of cavorting with the devil. Many citizens were put on trial and forced to make false confessions under pains of torture. In the ...