WASHINGTON — Dang, if he didn’t do it again: Donald John Trump slid out the back door and won the Iowa caucuses Monday night, thanks to a vote-counting app apocalypse, and he’s been acquitted on the two impeachment charges leveled against him.

Forget Teflon-President Ronald Reagan, to whom no bad thing ever stuck. Forget the Comeback Kid, President Bill Clinton, who kept getting back up every time he was knocked down. For reasons as mysterious as the Iowa caucuses themselves, President Trump may be the luckiest guy ever to hold the office. Despite being like a bank robber who practically leaves breadcrumbs for the cops to follow, he can’t seem to get caught.

And, if Democrats continue their trend of ineptitude — there’s more — Trump will escape with another term in office come November. If he wants it.

Though he still falls short of exoneration, Trump doesn’t let such details interfere with his own reality. When the Mueller investigation failed to find evidence of a criminal conspiracy between the Trump campaign and Russia, he insisted he was found “innocent.”

Likewise, the Senate’s inevitable acquittal of Trump won’t exonerate him, but he’ll surely claim that it does. From his perspective, the proof is glaringly obvious: He’s still president of the United States, isn’t he? Moreover, the chaos that has been ascribed to the Trump White House since Day One looks like a special ops team compared with the Democrats’ recent unraveling.

Another folly has been playing out in Milwaukee, where two leaders of the host committee for the Democratic National Convention have been put on leave pending an investigation into what some staffers have described as a toxic work environment. Details of the alleged offenses haven’t been made available, but a statement from the chief executive of the Democratic National Convention Committee, Joe Solmonese, may have provided hints.

“The Democratic Party is firm in our belief that every person deserves to feel safe and respected at their place of work and we will always take seriously claims of bullying and workplace harassment,” Solmonese said. He added that the host committee’s board of directors “is moving forward with a plan to restore an office culture that aligns with the values and expectations of our party.”

Whatever that means.

The definitions of bullying and harassment could mean anything from #MeToo-ish to merely boorish. The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reported that experienced politicos who have worked with the committee described a “toxic culture rife with power struggles, backbiting and mismanagement.” The two officials who have been put on leave, executive director Liz Gilbert and chief of staff Adam Alonso, were also accused of focusing on “accumulating power” rather than “promoting Milwaukee,” the Sentinel reported. As of this writing, neither Gilbert nor Alonso has commented on the allegations.

Alonso and Gilbert are apparently veterans of controversy. While working full time for the host committee, the two were criticized for continuing to work for New Jersey Democrats. On Monday, the New Jersey Democratic Party dropped Alonso’s $15,000-per-month consulting arrangement.

Controversy is never far away from politics, no matter what the party. And, though the host committee is an independent, civic group and not part of the Democratic National Convention Committee itself, it isn’t helpful when a workplace scandal implying inappropriate behavior suddenly surfaces. Without enthusiasm and high morale, organizing a convention and raising the millions of dollars needed to fund the event would be a sentence equal to a Siberian labor camp. Or, say, a short stint in the Trump White House.

These things can happen to anyone, obviously, and, well, apps fail and chads hang. But when they happen with such synchronicity with Trump’s sudden swell of sensational headlines, one may be inclined to gaze up into the night sky seeking answers. What starry misalignment or heavenly hoax is this?

If you’re a Trump supporter, on the other hand, the stars form constellations of pearl-studded streets, diamond fountains and thrones of gold, reaffirming the belief that, hallelujah, God sent Trump to make America great again.

There’s plenty of time for Democrats to get their acts together and for Trump to pull another disqualifying caper. But for this all-important week, the story is that Trump is still winning — while Democratic candidates, who spent months of sweat and lucre in pursuit of a little lightning beneath their feet — waited in line to lose.

kathleenparker@washpost.com

©2020, Washington Post Writers Group