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Column: ‘Can’t you read the signs?’

NEW ULM — The group Five Man Electrical Band released a song titled “Signs” in 1971.

Now for all of you baby boomers who were around when that song was released like me, you probably know most of the lyrics. And some of you have more than likely heard it on an oldies station.

The last verse of “Signs” is “Can’t you read the signs?”

So what does a verse from a 46-year-old song have to do now?

When you come to the gates of either Mueller Park or Johnson Park in New Ulm, before you come into the parks there are red-and-white signs that have four messages on them to fans entering.

“No Pets”

“No Beverages”

“No Food”

“No Coolers”

All four are relatively simple to understand for the majority of the people coming to games.

The “No Pets” sign is a city ordinance. It is not that New Ulm detests pets such as dogs, it is just that they are not allowed in parks.

Several years ago at Mueller Park there was an incident where a child was bitten by a dog and had to go to the hospital to be stitched up. The “Sign” was in place at that time but was for whatever reason ignored by the dog owner.

Even this year there have been people coming to the parks and — standing within 10 feet of the “Sign” — asking if it is OK if they bring their dog in.

To borrow the last line again, “Can’t you read the signs?”

As for the next three — “No Beverages,” “No Food” and “No Coolers” — the reasons for them are plain and simple.

The New Ulm Baseball Association and the New Ulm VFW make most of their money to support their programs from the sales of pop, beer and food.

This year, the NUBA has added cheeseburgers. hamburgers, cheese curds, brats and sauerkraut to their menu for most games. Add to that the normal hot dogs, popcorn, beer, pop and slushies and it is a pretty extensive — and tasty — menu for a baseball park.

During the tournaments’ games, the VFW also has a food stand.

Yet there are still fans who enter the park carrying a six-pack of pop into the parks or hauling a cooler full of Gatorade behind them.

Some have even brought in coolers of food. And some of these people are from New Ulm.

One game this year I saw an out-of-town man across the street from Johnson Park stuff three bottles of pop into his shirt and walk in — right by the concession stand.

I am pretty sure that other ballparks have this problem and I know that most parks also have signs regarding outside food, beverages or pets.

So I hope that when fans come to either Johnson Park or Mueller Park in New Ulm — and especially for the upcoming Minnesota Sports Federation (MSF) State 14-year old tournament this next weekend — they all read and understand the red and white posters.

And they do not have to be asked by the Five Man Electrical Band.

“Can’t you read the signs?”

NEW CDS AT JOHNSON, MUELLER PARKS: If you have been to Johnson or Mueller Parks recently you have heard new music and that is thanks to Dan Backer who burned two CDs for each park. Each CD has 56 songs on it. Thanks to Dan for all of the work.

SOFTBALL CLINIC SIGNUP: There will be a hitting and catching softball clinic in New Ulm on Aug. 2 at the Jefferson Elementary School field for all softball players ages 10 and older.

The catching clinic has a limit of 20 catchers and you must supply your own gear. There is a $50 participation fee. Check-in is at 8:30 a.m.. Catchers ages 10-14 and 15-and-over will participate from 9-11 a.m.

The hitting clinic has a $50 participation fee for players ages 10-and-over and will run from 1-3 p.m. with a 12:15 check-in. You must provide your own helmet and bat.

Coaches teaching the clinic are College of St. Benedict head softball coach Rachel Click, Mike Eveslage of the CSB and Bob Mertz, co-head softball coach at New Ulm Cathedral.

Former New Ulm Cathedral and current CSB softball player Karlee Pfaff will also teach in the clinic.

You can register by July 26 by emailing Karlee Pfaff at krpfaff@csbsju.edu if you have any questions.

You can make checks payable to Todd Pfaff, 61652 Sunset Lane, New Ulm, Minnesota 56073. In case of rain, the clinic will be held at the New Ulm Girls’ Fastpitch Facility.

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