To the editor:
You Irish have thrown down the gauntlet to the Germans of New Ulm.
On behalf of Germania I fearlessly pick it up and accept...with Vergngen (translation: pleasure)! I shall appear at the Leprechaun Look-Alike Contest at the Chamber of Commerce at the stroke of noon on St. Patrick's Day, March 17. There I will challenge the gaggle of Irish who have infiltrated New Ulm (the most German city in Amerika) under cover of darkness over the past 49 years. I will demonstrate for the whole world to see, that clothes DO NOT make the man. He who would stand against me, beware. Though I may appear as a Leprechaun, my 100 percent pure Germanic blood will show through in exultation to win the day.
Further, I will march in the parade at 5 p.m., and though I may appear as Irish, no Irish will outshine me. My true inner Germanic spirit will triumph uber alles. And gemuetlichkeit will once again reign over New Ulm forevermore.
Blarney will be replaced by Baloney,
O'George the Great (Glotzbach)