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From the Farm: I just can't get away with anything these days

November 29, 2013
By Kerry Hoffman , The Journal

I just can't get away with anything lately.

I am not kidding.

Just the other day I was caught red handed, when I assumed I thought I could be a bit sneaky.

Article Photos

Kerry Hoffman

Here's how it all went down.

Tuesday was one of those evenings when each member of my family had different plans.

I was going one way, Steve was going the other way and Joey and Russell were covering all the other directions.

Steve was the first one out the door that evening. He was going to the Annual Meeting of the Farmers Co-op of Hanska, which was held at Turner Halle.

I was going to be just down the street from Steve auditioning for the next New Ulm Area Community Theatre's Christmas production.

Joe, who actually skipped a class to come home early to be with his mommy, and Russell were going along with Steve to learn all about how a cooperative works. Actually, I think they were just going to fill their stomachs. (Russell actually worked for the co-op a bit last summer painting LP tanks.)

I was the last one out the door. I turned off all but one light in the house and stood outside looking at my used-car lot.

Hmmwhich car should I take?

There was the Cow Car. She has a flat tire. Automatic disqualification.

Then there was Joey's car. A Pontiac Grand Prix that is able to be driven while practically lounging in the back seat. I never adjust the seats in anyone's car, and the opposite is true for my car. We all respect the other's seating arrangement.

I could have looked like a cool dude in Joe's car.

Steve's pickup was gone. But that's OK, I don't like driving that thing.

Russell's Jeep was right behind Joe's car. That's a sweet vehicle. It's exactly like my first Jeep, except it's a dark brownish color. Ooh, that one has heated seats and probably some fairly good music in the cd player.

My Jeep was also outside. It hadn't been driven all day. It would take eons for that to start blowing warm, toasty air out of the vents.

Russell's Jeep won.

I hopped in the vehicle.

Cranked the engine over.

Turned the heated seats on high and headed toward town.

I was right too. He had some classic country music cd playing on the radio. George Strait was crooning the very song that Steve and I used during our wedding.

Brought tears to my eyes.

I finished my audition and thought, "this is such a cool vehicle, I am going to take the long way home by driving down Broadway."

I turned left off Washington Street onto Center Street.

As I slowed at the red stop light to turn right onto Broadway, I noticed a red pickup drive into the turn lane to head north on Broadway.

I looked and noticed it was two young punks that didn't look familiar to me.

I made my turn and continued down Broadway, singing to another George Strait song like I was on stage at the Grand Ole Opry and the crowd was going wild.

All of a sudden that red pickup came screaming up along beside me. I was a bit embarrassed because I was getting into the music, which made me afraid to look over at the pickup.

Once I had the nerve I casually glanced to my left.

There were two young punks giving me the stink eye - Joe and Russ.

Sorry Grandma and Grandpa In-town. They left Steve at the meeting, were on their way to your house, but then they observed me in Russ' Jeep and had to investigate.

They pulled me over in the funeral home parking lot. Scared me a bit. Gave me the third degree like I was an actual car thief.

I just can't get away with anything.

For questions, or comments, e-mail me at kahoffman@newulmtel.net.

 
 

 

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