Contrary to what humans of the male persuasion think, humans of the female persuasion like it when male humans disappear for a couple of days.
I am not lying! It's the honest-to-god truth.
I have talked to many, many women that agree that if the man in her life goes on an ice fishing trip, a weekend to Vegas with his buddies or spends two days at the corporate board meeting of Associated Milk Producers, Inc., we love having you gone.
It's just that we get so much more work done when you are not getting in our way.
And yes, you do get in our way, even though you don't realize it.
For instance, the man who spent two days at the AMPI meeting tends to make himself a sandwich and then neglectfully leaves the peanut butter, jelly and the opened bad of 100 percent whole wheat bread on the cupboard.
I don't know what it is, but the work really seems to move along as smooth as a Slip-n-Slide water toy when men are not getting in the way.
For instance, Wednesday morning, Steve left early from milking to attend the second day of his meeting.
I don't mind him leaving one bit. I know he loves what he does while at the meeting, because he never seems to get home before 10 p.m. and I don't think the meetings go that late into the evening.
After I finished washing the parlor down with the almighty pressure washer, I had to finish cleaning up the holding area of manure.
Once that was finished I pushed up feed for the cows and then took a big scoop of feed over to the close-up barn where another beautiful Jersey, Mittens, was in the process of giving birth.
Mitten's was in the early stages of labor, but I bet she started because she knew Steve was going to be gone all day and she figured she could get done in a jiffy.
Zach was busy mixing another big batch of feed for the second group of milking cows.
While I fed Mittens I noticed that the bedding in that particular barn was a bit dirty, so I decided to give them a nice big, round bale of cornstalks for fresh, clean bedding. Besides, I wanted Mittens to have a clean space to have her heifer calf, which I have since named Mica.
I told Zach I thought that was the best bale of corn stalks I have every fluffed up in my life.
Because the corn stalks haven't been rained on after we harvested corn, they explode in a cornstalk confetti parade when you cut the net wrap off the outside. OK, they don't literally explode, but they fluff so nice!
After I finished bedding in Mittens, and some other Holstein that's also in the barn, I asked Zach if he needed any more help.
He assured me he didn't, so I ventured into the house.
It was merely 8:30 a.m. When ever Steve is around, I don't do all that extra work and I still get in at 8:30.
See, it's amazing how much work females can get done when males are under our feet.
For questions, or comments, e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org