NEW ULM - It promises to be a warm, sunny day on Wednesday, March 17, perfect weather for the 45th annual New Ulm St. Patrick's Day Parade.
The parade will be held at 5 p.m. Wednesday, with units gathering at 4:30 p.m. at Third South and Minnesota Streets. The parade will proceed the wrong way up Minnesota Street to the Glockenspiel, where the celebration will move to Don's Pub (known most of the year as The Kaiserhoff) for dinner and entertainment.
The Irish Queen this year is Mary Callahan Bohnen.
The current St. Patrick's Day Committee of Tom Donnelly, Terry Dempsey and Pat Kearney give former New Ulm Blarneymeister, the late Bill O'Connor, credit for the weather. "He did such a good job being in charge of the weather last year we're letting him do it again this year," said Donnelly.
While the parade is the highlight of the day, there will be plenty of other activities during the day to entertain the masses of Irish people who are expected to come to New Ulm for the celebration. (New Ulm is generally acknowledged to attract the third highest concentration of Irish people in the world on St. Patrick's Day, behind only Dublin, Ireland, and New York City. Boston is a close fourth, and Chicago is fifth).
"We are expecting 50 bus loads of spectators from all over the upper Midwest," said Donnelly.
Sarah O'Palin will be in town to sign her new book, "Going Brogue," at Sven and Ole's Books and Bookshelves and Coffeecups, before and after the parade.
Activities in New Ulm's Irish Park (German Park is being renamed for the day by special mayoral decree) will include the Rope Pushing contest at 3 p.m. and the Sauerkraut Burying contest at 4 p.m. (Sauerkraut makes excellent fertilizer, according to Kearney).
Unfortunately, the annual St. Patrick's Day Medallion Hunt had to be cancelled this year for safety reasons, after what happened at the Bock Hunt at the Schell's Bock Fest this year. Though efforts were made to keep the details from the news media, anonymous sources within City Hall revealed that Mayor Joel Albrecht went missing during the Bock Hunt and was found wandering, dazed and disoriented, in Flandrau State Park on Sunday afternoon, still searching for the King Bock.
"Thank goodness the mayor was all right," said Dempsey. "He was a little dehydrated and bleeding. They gave him a glass of Schell's Bock and bandaged his leg, and he was fine. He had been bitten by one of the search dogs they sent to find him.
"Therefore, for the safety of our citizens we have decided the medallion hunt will be discontinued," said Dempsey.
A couple of new events will be held to take up the slack. A Joke Telling Contest will be held at 3:30 p.m. in Irish Park. Kearney will tell a joke to a panel of Germans, and the first one to get it will receive a six-pack of Schell's Deer Brand Beer. Second place will receive two six-packs. The event is expected to take at least half an hour.
The other event, which will be going on throughout the day, is the "Where In The World Is Pat Kneefe?" contest. Kneefe, who for years was Bill O'Connor's assistant in organizing the St. Patrick's Day Celebration, is going to be out of town, the first celebration he has missed in 45 years. A large green box will be set up in the lobby of Alliance Bank where people can insert slips of paper with guesses as to Kneefe's whereabouts. If anyone can guess where he is, Kneefe will mow their lawn for the rest of the summer.
In honor of the 150th anniversary of the Schell's Brewery, Don's Pub will be serving a special drink, the Black and Black (a mixture of Guinness Stout and Schell's Stout). The drink will be featured in a special "Beer Summit" hosted by President Barack O'Bama, who will try to iron out the discord between New Ulm City Attorney Hugh Nierengarten and the Lafayette Township farmers who oppose the New Ulm PUC's efforts to put a wind farm near their land.
"The New Ulm Wind Farm just goes to show the never-say-die attitude of the New Ulm Germans," said Kearney. "Even when they can't win they still blow hot air."
The Grand Marshal for the parade this year is Terry Dempsey, the world's only Republican Irishman. Next year it will be Tom Donnelly, his partner on the Committee. "Then I'll be able to die a happy man," said Donnelly.
Gov. Tom O'Pawlenty had hoped to be able to participate in the parade and ride in Mayor Joel Albrecht's convertible, but when Albrecht heard about the governor's Local Government Aid cut proposal he told the governor he'd have to walk. "Take a hike!" were the mayor's exact words.
The Grand Marshal was supposed to be Don Brand, but he had to fly to Washington D.C. to receive the "Nation's Humblest German" award from Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann.
Brand will also not be receiving the annual "Done Nothing" award. This year it is being presented to all the citizens of New Ulm, because nothing is just what they did for an hour and a half while waiting for the fireworks at the Hermann's Victory Celebration last September.
"The Irish want to let everyone know that it was us who stepped in and showed the local Germans how to start the fireworks at the Hermann Celebration, otherwise we would all still be waiting," said Kearney. "They were unable to get the matches lit. We had to show them they were striking the wrong end!"
The Irish also noted the developments in the New Ulm City Council since the retirement of Council President Dan Beranek.
"If you have noticed, the city council meetings have been moved up to 5 p.m. instead of 7 p.m.," said Donnelly. "This is because half of the members want to get to Happy Hour earlier, and the other half needs to get home before their 7 p.m. bedtime."
"We are a little disappointed that because of the poor economic times, the New Ulm Park and Rec Department had to trim its budget on the new River Trails Park by not installing the St. Patrick's Statue," said Kearney. "But we have been assured that it will be back in the 2011 budget."
The Irish are also working to assist the Heart of New Ulm project at the New Ulm Medical Center.
"We have offered them the slogan, 'Jig, Don't Jog!'" said Kearney. "They are also promoting this Mediterranean Diet. We think they should try the Irish Diet of corned beef and cabbage, potatoes and beer. Everyone knows corned beef is very low in cholesterol and sodium."
As usual, the St. Patrick's Day celebration will last until midnight, when Mary O'Connor will dance the Irish Jig on the bar at Don's Pub, before it turns back into the Kaiserhoff.
